Goad With A Toad

The Board Inn

Durham Road, East Herrington, Sunderland, SR3 3NS



Does anything frighten you?

I used to keep spiders, do you like spiders stuck in the bath.  If you were my partner I would have you fit as a fiddle in no time.

<> How?

Easy, my grandmother Gardiner rest her soul was one of the fittest gannies in Pennywell.  I said to her, nanna look at this and when she saw the toad in my hand she jumped onto the settee and had one leg on the armrest and one leg on the backrest while trying to climb up the wall.  Ha, ha, ha, well after that I would have some fun from time to time running round the house after her.  In those council houses ye got the passage that leads to the kitchen, that leads to the dinning room, then the front room & then back to the passage.  Round & round the house after her, ha, ha, ha, sometimes she would have a sweat on.  Ha, ha, ha, why aye keep ye ganny fit otherwise she would just be sitting round the house all day supping tea.

<> Ha, ha, ha

I’d have our Carol cornered, she would be screaming at the top of her voice and I’d say, give it a kiss and see if it turns into a Knight in Shining Armour.

<> Ha, ha, ha

What spiders did you keep?

The best ones are those big bastards ye catch on blackberry bushes, have ye seen them, big bastards they are.  Tack them home in a jar, leave the back door open to let the flies in than gan daft with the Echo, before long ye got a fucking git fat spider and then if ye sisters gang up on ye ye just have to say ye better stop or I’ll get the spider out.  Why aye ye lungs would be tiptop in no time.  Ha, ha, ha, you’d be screaming the house down, strong woman my arse. 

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