Thursday 3 May 2012

Laugh


 On The Pop
Inn Silksworth
April 2012
(More details to follow)


<> Did you sing, Always look on the bright side of life, when you where in the army?

That is the type of song soldiers would sing but it was released after I was in the army, so although it is a song that soldiers are likely to sing we did not sing it when I was in the Army.

<> What did you sing?

Well that’s interesting because a lot of people ask me that question and depending on who is asking will depend on my response.  I will sing you a song but before I do I will explain.  If I sing this song to working class people I normally get a laugh but it’s different with middle class lefties.  If I sing them the song without any explanation they nearly always respond by saying something like, that’s a terrible song for soldiers to be singing but if I explain who sang it before or after singing it, normally after singing it, they smile and say, oh that’s funny.

<> So who sang it?

Two comedians who went by the name Derek & Clive, they would get pissed together and put the tape on to record their conversation and you where able to buy them on cassette.  But Derek & Clive where in fact Peter Cook and Dudley Moore.
And if you don’t tell middle class lefties this they say, that is a terrible song for soldiers to be singing but once you explain they say, oh yes that’s a lot of fun.  Soldier’s song bad, a Peter Cook and Dudley Moore song good.

<> So what’s the song?

Well if you wait for me to clear my throat I will give you a rendition.  And it goes something like this:

Jump
You fucker jump
Into this here blanket we are holding
And you will be all right
He jumped
He hit the deck
He broke his fucking neck
There was no blanket
Laugh
We nearly shat
Never laugh so much since Grandma died
Or auntie Mabel caught her left tit in the mangle

HA, HA, HA
HA, HA, HA

 Auntie Mabel

<> What’s a mangle?

I get asked that often, do you believe it, young kids today do not know what a mangle is.  It was a heavy metal contraption

<> Like Iron Maiden?

That is glam rock in comparison.

<> Ha, ha, ha

No a mangle stood on a metal frame and at the top there were two rubber tubes, you placed wet cloths in between the tubes and turned a handle at the side and by doing so you got the water out of your washing before you placed it on the line. Young kids today, I don’t know, got it too easy.

<> What other things were different?

Well for a start nee bastard had a telephone.

<> A mobile?

Mobile my arse, they had not been invented.  In Pennywell there was a lass at the end of our street had a phone in the house.

<> What type?

The type that are known as landlines these days, there might have been others in Pennywell with phones but she was the only person that I knew that had one and not one of my mates had one.

Shit I never got one till 1986

<> How do you remember the date?

It was the same year we moved house, it was already in the house, and we thought should we keep it or should we take it out.  In the end we kept it in.  It was red with a circular dialler.  I’d be standing there on the phone like fucking Ronny Raygun.

<> Ha, ha, ha
Ha, ha, ha

<> Who is Ronny Raygun?

A cowboy with Nuclear Bombs instead of six-shooters, the President of America.

<> The President of America?
So why do you call him a cowboy?

Because before he became President he acted in a lot of cowboy films.

<> You’re joking.

No but a lot of people thought he was.

<> Ha, ha, ha
Ha, ha, ha
Let’s shake ye hand mate
Card hands warm heart

Aye so they say, but my doctor reckons bad circulation might soon part

<> Ha, ha, ha








Original Photograph of Auntie Mabel can be found at the address below:

http://www.phespirit.info/derekandclive/auntie_mabel.htm

<>

Both cartoons on this page can be found at the link below:

http://politicalhumor.about.com/gi/o.htm?zi=1/XJ&zTi=1&sdn=politicalhumor&cdn=entertainment&tm=7&f=00&tt=14&bt=0&bts=0&zu=http%3A//cagle.com//news/RonaldReagan/main.asp

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